Life can get difficult at times when you try not to fit the box, and I’ve learned many things navigating the Kinsey scale.
What I found is that, while everyone can find his/her community in San Francisco, both community are definitely not inclusive. While in 2015, the US celebrated the Obergefell v Hodges civil rights case, there is still a long way to go to attain proper acceptance of the other party in both communities.In the gay community, bisexuals are looked with a very strange light. They are not born this way, and do not belong, because they “have to make up their mind.”My first realization of this was a conversation with a friend a mine, who’s married, has a kid and a husband, but still attracted to women, and leads a bisexual group in Paris. The issue is that she doesn’t belong the lesbian community, that is she doesn’t want to live in a community that has its own codes and lifestyle.A second realization was at the Frameline festival (2015), where I went to watch En la gama de los Grises. It is a very beautiful movie about the inner conflicts of a bisexual who has to make choices: he either has to be gay in full, or come back to a straight life.It seems that “you can’t spell invisibility without bi“. There are so few examples and public figures you can build upon (maybe Care Delevigne or Charles Blow, maybe?) and the bi limbo leaves breathless.A big question is how to you tell your friends, when you’ve been straight for the largest part of your life, opened your horizons, and have to explain this without them thinking that you’ve been closeted for all these years, because — you weren’t, only restricted to what the society deems acceptable (it hasn’t always been the case; things were different before monotheism.)